Church and the Funeral

Well, we arrived at the church at 9 am just like Holly wanted. We took all the stuff in the church she was going to display and she set it up on the table. Then she walked down the aisle of the church to get Carleigh. She held her and gazed at her precious daughter taking it all in and trying to remember EVERY little detail. She sat herself down in the wing-backed chair that was comfortable and there she sat waiting for people to come to her and Carleigh. And did they ever. There were lots of people gathering around 10:15-10:30. Everyone was trying to cram themselves
in the lobby, noone wanted to go and sit in the church any earlier than they had to. Finally, at 10:55 John, myself, Jason and Katrina walked into the church and took our seats in the 2 pew right behind where the kids were going to sit.
Pastor Mark Batton (The kid's pastor) walked to the front and said prayer. After the prayer the music and slideshow of pictures began. It was so beautiful but it didn't take me long to start crying. I saw pictures of that beautiful creation of God and how in such a short time she had a place permanently in my heart. I leaned over and put my head on John's shoulder and began weeping for this little grandaughter of mine I never got the chance to know and spoil. (And I DO spoil) He ever so gently pulled me into his arms tighter and hung on and I looked up at him at one point and said "It is ok to cry Honey, you don't have to be strong for me, you can grieve too, you know." And at that point, out of the corner of my eye I saw tears fall on his shirt. We hung on to each other and wept together, bonding us with the love for our precious little Carleigh.
We watched some more of the pictures and listened to the music "Glory Baby" by Watermark and I started to cry again. I practically pulled myself up to John and leaned into his neck and kissed him and told him "I Love You, Honey" and he squeezed me telling me he loved me too and then I wept some more. When that was over our brother-in-law Buck Hawkins wrote something for Holly and Anthony. It was wonderful and meaningful, and was funny at times too, at least for the family who knows him. But, laughter is good, right? The Andy read something that was written from Anthony's uncle John. It was a letter to Holly and Anthony from Carleigh as he saw it in his eyes and it was beautiful. That made me cry. Just whenI think I have no more to give I find I do. There was another song and then the service was over.
Holly (holding Carleigh) and Anthony (holding Kyndra) stood up at the end of the pew where they were sitting and people streamed by saying their goodbyes. They walked around to the other side where we were sitting and hugged john and I too. I wept more and as the line kept coming, it's hard to explain but something came over me and I found myself consoling the people hugging me. Then as the last person left the sanctuary, the family found ourselves watching Holly and Anthony say their last goodbyes. I could tell my little girl was in pain whether she wants to admit it or not, how could she not be. Knowing it was getting closer to not holding her ever again in her arms on this earth. We watched her place her in the casket and cover her with
the blanket Anthony's grandma had made for her (white with purple ribbon). Placed the little heart in the casket from her Uncle Dan and Aunt Lisa. Holly has the bigger heart to keep that matches it. And then ever so slowly she leaned over her and kissed her one last final time, I'm sure talking to her too. and then stood there for a moment and looked at her, and then with the grace and dignity , and faith turned ever so slowly and walked away. We all followed. We watched as Carleigh's Uncle Jason and Uncle Todd carried her casket out of the church. It broke them too that day. I saw Jason weep like I have never seen before, he laid his head on Bud's (Anthony's dad) shoulder and just wept. We all got into the cars has the line of cars made their way to the cemetary.