Oh my Gosh, Where do I begin? Where do we go from here? The time has come and quickly approaching for everything to be over. But, is it really over? The pain will be here for weeks, months, maybe years to come. Ive been through this before and know time will heal but somehow this is different. It is my little sweet baby grandaughter who I wanted to hold,hug, kiss, help feed, and play with. I dont get the chance. Sorry Lord, I know I should be grateful for what you have given me (us). Like Holly carrying her 37 weeks, her beautiful pink skin and not purple, her cute baby features, every perfect thing you created. Even her annencephaly. Because it wasnt as bad as I had imagined it would be. For all these things we give thanks and glory to you, you gave us those miracles, and I prayed to you that we would take any miracle you would give us just let Holly carry her. And you kept your promise. THANK YOU.
Now we begin the process of healing even if it means slowly and I'm sure it will be. It is so hard to deal with the pain I feel in my heart, every little thing now triggers a tear and uncontrolling at that. Oh, MY precious baby girl Holly how my heart aches for you, but you know that, as your heart aches for your baby Carleigh. I am here Honey and will comfort you as best as I can.
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