Loving Carleigh

Wow, I can't believe I'm writing this now, I knew I wanted to write something but it was always in the back of my mind to do it later when I had put a little more thought into it. Is there really a right time? Do I really need to think about what I might say, or do I let my heart speak to me? I'm not sure about anything, the only thing I do know is that God is in Control. I cant even begin to write down what I'm feeling because there is so much I want to say but not sure of the words to put it together. I just know that I LOVE that little grandaughter of mine SO MUCH it hurts.
I told someone today that I never really tried to think of Carleigh not being here because she is here. That somewhere in the back of my mind I know it is coming but try to block it out so I dont have to deal with it now because that makes it easier. But easier for who? Certainly not me. And it is not going to make it go away. I see Holly and how well she is handling it and want to think that she is strong but I am sure she has her moments in her quietness of her home, car, etc. wherever it may be. Lord, if you can read this, or you are watching me type this please help me get to the point where I want to be so this doesnt hurt so much and my tears will be less.
I am a woman who LOVES you, and I TRUST you, and I have FAITH in you. And I know our little Carleigh will be healed and whole and happy but it is still painful for us here on earth. When you made woman you gave us all these feelings and emotions that are a part of us and it is a little overwhelming to handle. And I know I need to turn it over to you and believe me Im trying.
Lord, just take really good care of our little girl, and tell her how much we love her and we are all trying our very best so we can see her again. Can you tell her that for me? Tell, her how much her grandpa and I love her.
Thank you for listening to me Lord. I love you.