I dont't want anyone reading my latest blogs to think I don't have faith because I do. I guess I am just trying to talk to myself and God and get a perspective on things. It is so unbelieveably hard to try and comprehend why our family was chosen to go through this journey. It is so much easier when it is someone else and not you, but then I wouldn't wish this on any family.
You see as I have written many times before I KNOW Carleigh will automatically be in Heaven. I KNOW Carleigh will be made perfect and whole. I KNOW Carleigh will be in the arms of our Lord and Saviour. What is hard for me is that in knowing all of this I still struggle with pain. I know this is part of the process our family will have to go through.
Please forgive me if when I speak to you and I totally break down without warning. Forgive me if I fall silent and not join in on conversation. Forgive me if I look like I'm in my own little world from time to time. Forgive me if we are having a good time with laughter and all of a sudden I break out crying. Death has no timetable to go by. We each go on the journey at our own speed.
I love my little grandaughter with all my heart and soul, which whom I have not even met yet, but that love is in our hearts and it stays there to grow.
I can not even begin to tell you how proud her father and I are that our daughter chose to carry her baby without hesitation knowing the end result. Knowing that God gave her this precious little girl and he alone is the only one who can decide her fate. There should never be an option. We are so proud of you Holly, and Anthony too for being the courageous husband who stood by you and not once tried to talk you out of your choice. The both of you show what true Faith in God is all about. I have often said it is not what people hear us SAY about our Faith, it is more about what they SEE in our walk of Faith. Our walk can have more of an impact on others because they see how much we love and trust in our Lord that gets us through. I fully understand all of this to be true, it is just the journey of pain that we must endure that is the hard part.
Just please try to understand.
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3 comments:
Very true....actions do speak louder than words.
Linda, I wanted to reach out and tell you know how humbled I am to know you and your family. I pray that God's arms continue to hold you. Carleigh's journey to heaven was one filled with much love and many prayers. God's grace has been shown to so many people through Carleigh's journey. I pray that your heart will heal in God's time. Be kind to yourself and know you are loved. Beth
You have a blog now! Wonderful!
I believe with all my heart that you are a woman of faith. The questions..... the questions are all a part of the process, don't you think?? I have faith, but I still question my part of this plan. The why. The reason. You have such a beautiful daughter, and you are such a loving mother.... they type of mother I always would have wanted to have.
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