A Letter

It is Mother's Day tomorrow and I remember on this same day last year writing a letter to my mother-in-law. I remember wanting to tell her so many things and not knowing how and trying to find the right words. I found something in a book and I wrote that to her. I am sure I added some things of my own but the letter in this book was perfect for me. so, I want to share it with you. It is titled "A Letter to My Mother-in-Law" by Pamela Kennedy.
I know I should have written to thank you years ago, but I was a bit uneasy with our relationship. It was still quite new, and I had never been a daughter-in-law before. I thought perhaps you'd think me unacceptable or lacking in some essential skill. How wrong I was, and that is part of why I want to thank you now.
Thanks for peeking in the pot and never saying "I used to put in more of this and less of that." The year I tried your recipe and wound up with a mess I loved you for not saying a word.
There were times when you watched me nurse a fussy baby or paddle a disobedient behind, knowing I was doing things all wrong. You offered help so graciously, never criticizing-just one mother helping out another. When the children turned to you for aid or sympathy, you always asked, "But what does Mama say?" How I loved you for sending them back to me instead of coveting their love. In return they loved you more as well.
My gratitude is great for the times we made a foolish investment or suffered a self-inflicted disaster, and you were there to lend support. You never said "I told you so!" or second-guessed or scolded us. Perhaps you knew we'd learn our lessons best when freed from outside condemnation.
I remember sharing deep concerns while the guys were on their fishing trips (on Sunday afternoons). You always listened carefully, sorting truth and feelings, leading me to find within myself the answers I didn't know I had. Thank you for helping me grow and learn through gentle conversation instead of sermons laced with bad words.
Was it hard for you never to take sides, to let us alone to discover our own strengths and weaknesses? I'm sure, deep down, your preferences were crystal clear, but you never made them evident to us. How I appreciate you for pushing us together instead of driving us apart.
(Here is a good part) Thanks for all the times you knew my husband better than I and kept your comments sealed behind a smile. Thanks for all the nods that let me know you understood my frustrations with your handsome son. You told me in so many subtle ways that you had to let him go and would not be a rival for his love. I needed that in all my newly-wedded insecurity. You understood and blessed us with a giving heart and not a grasping one. (Now, the best part of all)
I must thank you, too, for all the hours and years of time you spent chipping, sanding,polishing your diamond in the rough---this man you grew is VERY much a GEM to ME.
The tenderness you taught him, the character you helped to form, have made MY husband precious and made my life a joy.
What skill it takes to make a child a man, what courage to give him up to someone else, what grace to be a source of constant love.
When my daughters are grown and find husbands and move away, will you please help me to be to them what you have been to me? Thank you for being a mother-in-love, not just a mother-in-law.
Love,
Your Daughter, Linda

That was my letter to Joyce, (John's mom) and she has indeed been a great mom. Loving me when I am sure at times were hard for her and never saying an unkind word. I hope that I can be and that I am that kind of mother-in-law to my sons Jason and Anthony. In them I finally got the boys I never had. So, to all of my kids, I Love You all very much.