Sad

How SAD it is to read of another child gone to soon, read that the life is gone before it has a chance to breathe. I will ask myself secretly why but never having an answer and when the day comes to get the answer to my question it wont matter at all when I am in the presence of our Lord and Saviour.
What hurts me the most is that going through the tragedy ourselves and seeing others go through it too and then knowing there are babies and children out there who get abused every day or live in the abuse. It make me sad, mad and ANGRY. God has given these precious gifts and in an instant HE can take them away. Children would rather be from a broken home than live in one. Shame on the adult for living in a situation where you can get out, seek help, and be happy. GOD'S greatest blessing should not be abused!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cry while writing this because it is so dear to my heart. After losing Carleigh it has put a whole new meaning on life and loving our most precious gifts and taking care of what he gives us.
I don't care if people dislike me for what I say and standing up to it because it is from my heart and very passionate about it. "Lord, Please watch out for the little ones who don't have a voice and keep them in your safe and loving arms. Let them know you are with them and carrying them through the rough times. In your loving precious name, Amen.

Dieting

Dieting- Such a terrible word. You start out with great intentions and then you fail. I like to think of it as a Lifestyle Change, because it is. I have been heavy all of my life, well, except for the one and only time I was a size 3 (and then I got pregnant for Katrina). See how that happens!!! But, part of me thinks "hey, you are a size 14, the same size you were in high school". That can't be all that bad. But yet I feel I could do better. I don't think it is hard to take off (well a little bit, the older I get) what is the hardest is to maintain it. If I can't maintain it now what will it be like later? Health wise I know I have to and when I had lost 25 (only 25) I DID feel better so I know it works. All I did was watch the fat intake and cut down on the sugar. (now, I have given up all pop) With diabetes in the family it scares me enough to watch it closely. It will always be a struggle I am sure of it but I just have to learn to handle it. All these fad diets and programs people go on look good to me but then I don't want to waste the money on it when I already tried my way and lost. So, I know my way works too. Doesn't it? My theory is (for me) to watch what I eat and how I prepare it and eat in moderation and get out and walk, or ride my bike, or swim. Thank goodness I have my own pool. It will probably always be a struggle for me the rest of my life and family knows what I mean. I want my temple to be the best that it can be and working at it every day is an uphill battle, I like to think someday I can win again, even if I will never be a size 3. I have 2 beautiful, healthy daughters out of it all and that is my sacrifice for never being a size 3 again. Only in my memory.

Sleepless

Wow, another night of not getting any sleep. I am grateful they don't happen anymore than they do, but it is a killer the next morning. The only good thing is i will sleep good tonight. I have kids today so sleeping isn't an option until and unless I get them down for one too. Trying a new water system and maybe that might have something to do with it. If it is, let me just say I don't like the water. It doesn't seem to bother John, as a matter of fact he says his joints don't hurt as much as they did. At least he is getting benefit from it. I guess we will see. Either way the water system is here to stay and hoping this passes quickly for me.