Thoughts

Wow, Another day gone by, and time ticking as we speak into another new day that awaits us. I look forward to the new days, when you get to my age you are glad to see the new day. LOL
I think sometimes that I am not blogging enough on here like I did before, thinking I need something important to say or write about but, I am reminded by my cousin, Beth, that it is like a journal and I write what I want and when I want, not caring about anything else.
I think what troubles (not even the word I want but lacking another one) me is learning how to travel through my journey and it isn't as hard as Holly's journey but, it is mine none the less. I own it. I do well day to day when I try not to think about it and then WHAM it hits you. Is this how it will be till I die? The grief we feel for losing our little Carleigh, will it be like that for me?
Will others be that consumed someday when I am no longer here? What kind of a legacy will I leave? Never thought of this stuff when I was in my teens and 20's but it is true what they say as we get older we think of our mortality and things to come.
I want my legacy for my daughters and grandchildren to mean something, not just that mom and grandma wore her hair spiked, neon nail polish and bright colored clothes. (although I do and love it). Will they see Jesus in me? I think the grand kids will say "Grandma use to sing Jesus Loves Me to us ALL the time," because I do. When the girls get fussy I start singing and they quit right away and it brings m,e such joy to know that they love it. What else can I give them? I hope so much more and something that they will ALL talk about when they have down moments.
Carleigh has forever touched me, and the remarkable thing is she did that without even taking a breath!!! I hope she remembered me holding her and rocking her in the hospital and singing Jesus Loves Me to her. I am trying to make a memorial spot for her in the house and cant wait till it is done.
Beth, if you read this, I want you to know that you are the one person who I can talk to and you know how I feel and where I am coming from, from a mother and grandmother's point of view and you understand. I only wish you lived closer. Love you cousin!!
My thoughts tonight were to tell you, Carleigh, that grandma hasn't forgotten you and I miss you so much.

Jesus Loves Me

Sing it to the girls all the time-----------


Jesus Loves Me, this I know
For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to him belong
They are weak, but HE is strong.

Yes, Jesus Loves Kyndra and Carleigh
Yes, Jesus Loves Audrey
Yes, Jesus Loves Hannah
The Bible tells them so

Kyndra and Audrey will usually calm down and go to sleep when I sing it to them.
Thank you Jesus for loving me (us) and my little girls!!!

Cold and Warmth

Fall is in the air and it is getting cooler, which I don't like at all. My hands and feet are getting colder and it hasn't even begun to get to the really cold stuff. My weekend at Holly's went great. We all had a lot of fun and enjoyed each other and of course all of the little ones. They would have really enjoyed themselves if the weather would have been nice and warm, we could have been outside on the swing set, but they had fun indoors too as you can tell by the videos on Holly's family blessing website.
God is good in the midst of it all, my daughter seems to be going through her journey day by day and with each new day God gives her more of a blessing. As we approach this holiday season i am reminded of how thankful we need to be. We have each other, our health, our homes, food, clothing, and most of all, the love of each other. God has blessed our family and soon he will add another to the mix, little baby Motter. How precious in his sight. Katrina is counting the days as she is so ready to give birth and have that part of the pregnancy behind her.
We miss our little angel, Carleigh very much but we know she is in a better place and Jesus is taking very good care of her till we get there, so for that reason we move on in the journey and look to the blessings and goodness he sends our way. it hurts and always will till we leave this earth behind, but the sadness becomes joy when we know HE will take care of our needs and put joy in our hearts. So, as this holiday season approaches, take the time to reflect on the good things he has done. If, we all dig a little deep we can find something that lies within to be grateful for.